i have no idea what it is with my school and their fancy technological gizmos.

how much is the new data registering system going to cost?
probably a few thousand dollars, not to mention the follow up costs for repair and maintenance.

Why the heck would or should we get that crappy system anyway.
Is it really that hard to do a roll call for names?

PFFT. NO.

F***. Not every single student enrolled here is a freaking millionaire. What we need it the exposure and the opportunity to participate in educational programmes/activities/courses. Why not spend that money on improving the educational standards? (And maybe hire some more adequate teachers?!)

seriously.
i actually want to learn something by the end of my freaking four years here.

Why does every single thing around me seem like such a pointless superficial facade. i feel like all i'm doing everyday is to wake up, hurry through some unimportant little details, spend the rest of the 10 minutes i spend walking/running to the bus stop psyching myself into plastering a dumb smile on my face. And then the rest of the day just passes by with a hell lot of fake compliments which i dispense to random people, until they run out. Then i just go into my little shell with this semi-dazed and numbed feeling and drift through the rest of the day.

Not forgetting the pretty picture perfect little lies that i decorate myself with.

oh well, she's just another student, like the rest of the 500 ones out there. A bit plain, normal, average, but nonetheless good natured. supposedly.

i feel like one of those bouquets of flowers that circulate around out there in the corporate world. sent purely out of "common courtesy", when none is really meant.

you know like how you have to send flowers just because.
and when you have to smile and greet and act all close and friendly with all these foreign people which you've never even met in your life, just because you do.

i feel so hollow inside.

like one of those fancy adverts you see that promises you a miracle.
100% guaranteed

and you just want and wish with all your heart that for once you could actually believe in them/it

but you can't
cause not a single word is true.
every one of them, those, perfect, neatly printed little lines are nothing but lies.

i think i've been crying an awful lot lately.
too much.
to be sane.

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