Q:How many wanas does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: 100.

1 to actually screw it in.
10 to say “OMG, I wish I had your willpower! I’ve been sitting in the dark for the past month!”
20 to to claim that they were “Screwing in my lightbulb last year, but then my parents stopped me when it was almost in and made me unscrew it… now it’s completely dark in here! I need motivation to start screwing it in again!”
15 to take pictures from bizarre angles that make it look like they’re screwing in their lightbulbs.
14 to post pictures of Nicole Richie and Mary-Kate Olsen in close proximity to light bulbs.
10 to argue over whether or not screwing in a lightbulb is a choice or the result of a psychological problem.
10 to claim that their lightbulbs are completely screwed in, even though they’re sitting in a dark room with an unscrewed bulb sitting next to them.
11 to say that they had their lightbulb partially screwed in last week, but spent the weekend unscrewing it because they lost their will power.
2 to write poems about the goddess lightbulb that guides them on their quest for light.

and…
7 to come along randomly and ask how they can become light bulb screwers too.

i got this off one of the POA threads and couldn't resist posting it here... :P

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no one gets my allusions.
i just want to run away with you

and the stars will shine in the sky
like they were supposed to
and we'd skate around the parks,
your hand in mine

singing obscure tunes that nobody would get except us.
we'd ride off into the sun
and fall off the edge of the earth

back to reality.

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sounds slightly wanarexic, but i can't help but to smile at the last line :D
 

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woozy.confused. lost.
were those dreams ever ours to begin with?
meaning. life has none.
i can't see it. time pools.
i could live forever. floating along.
everything's so tranquil. there's nothing
that would ever matter
we could straddle the world and walk across railings
and play catch in the fields of poppies

intoxicating. and the rays of sunshine.
like prisms. angular and warm.

yesterday everything seemed like it would end.
time nipping at our feet.
it's ending. running out.
not enough. slipping away.
through our fingers.

the chase is one.
our one ended rat race.
faster. faster. fast.err.
the world whizzes by.
nonchalant. but our worlds are tearing
at the axis. spinning out of control
equator bound. we're falling apart.

fear keeps us together.
plodding on. half hearted runs.
we've got to get there.
too much to ... ..

listen. it peered out from behind the curtain and grew upon me.
the lyrics speak volumes. or at least it does to me.
and so does the song/melody.

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tired. and sick.
but we must pold on.
we must we must we must
a little more
and it will all be over soon

Today: envt. pollution presentation

Tonight: 

1. finish script for presentation on local literature
2. Finish at least 1 essay
3. Finish Art

on a slightly happier note, yesterday was pretty good.

Yesterday's Intake:

iced lemon tea:75
jelly beans : 80
(not a fab decision, but we were munching them during art and playing hilarious games, so it was worth the calories.*sighs, my art friends are the only people i can be semi-normal with* )
some kind of beef/veg stew: 75

+ walked home and played tennis for 45 minutes

Total: 230 calories :D


Today's Intake:
Watermelon: 92
Durian: 33.5

Later:
Soy milk?
more watermelon?
coffee?
maybe soup?

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starting over. today.

a little confused and lost. i'm nearly there. not quite.
attainable. but if i don't watch it, it might just slip out of my hands again.
sanity. i'm so tired i just want to fall into a deep sleep.
and slumber off to neverland. now is not the time she whispers, and tries to make herself heard amongst the demons that live in my head.
it;s a losing battle she's fighting. she's already lost half the weekend. who's to say she won't lose the other half? where have all her dreams gone? her ambitions. the vindictive voice that cried out for change.  to fight back and take her life back?
the determined spirit that fought tooth and nail for a second chance?

make your last stand. dear.
i'm not going to lie to you and tell you that it will all be over soon.
for it's just begun. and there's still a long road ahead, filled with brambles and twines, hoping to drag us down. it's not going to be easy. you know it.
but fight. fight back. with the last bit of strength you have. don't let the hatred build up to destroy you. control;. control your damned emotions.
fuck. fuck. i don't want to. go away.
i just want to dig a hole in the ground and curl up and sleep for a thousand years. i'm sick of trying. i don't want to.
remember how after you got started, everything turned out for the better.
so plough on. don't quit.





the song speaks for itself. i have no clue what the lyrics or the video is about,and i don't want to know. but it's soothing, and that's all that matters. let the music speak for itself.

*this post is kind of personal and might not make sense D: *

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i just caught the clock thing on my computer turn from 12:59 to 1:00 am.
somehow i feel oddly happy seeing that.
like i've been let in on some secret.

whimsical.
it hit me on the bus on my way to school today.
i was thinking about something and then it suddenly popped up in my mind.
don't you just love the way it rolls off your tongue?
whim-si-cal.

and we got into a huge "fight" over a group project.
i'm not entirely sure i should react or feel about things now.

bitchy rant below. i'm ashamed that i'm posting such horrible nasty things, but ARGH. i just CANNOT take it anymore.

EDIT: Re-censored some of it.

i hate hate hate you when we're doing work together.

so you have your own ideas and your way that you like/want things to be done.
but so does everyone else.

why does every single thing have to be done in the exact way YOU want them to be done?

everytime i talk to you i feel like i'm walking on eggshells
and in the end all i end up doing is to cut my feet.
on the shards strewn over the floor.

i hate the blame games you play.

i mean what's your problem.
if you cant even get your own part done, what rights have you got to scream and get pissed off at me for not picking up your damned phone calls.



i know i have my flaws, and didn't do my part of the script on time. but heck neither did any of the rest of you. and i'm not even going to go into the details of the report.

 so what if you guys did the survey. 16 questions. post online. wait. get results.
how fucking hard is that to do.

i got dumped with analysing all 16 of these fucking questions.

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i just need to try harder.
/end.

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i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.
i don't know what to say.
i wish i could undo everything.
i wish i had more guts to tell you i lied
i wish i would just do all my work
instead of being the horrible procrastinating student i am
if you had screamed at me or given me a straight zero i would have felt better
but you didnt. it was 2 months overdue. oh gosh.
why am i such a horrible person.

i'm really really sorry.

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i'm still trying and fighting to get my life back into shape. clearing up all the stuff that i currently owe/are overdue. it's been tough. but i'm getting there. i'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, i see the finishing line in sight. i must not give up. not now. i've come too far to quit. just battle, fight, stick to my to-do-list till the end of the next 3 days. plough through and i'll be safe.

i'm nearly there.
Come on! No slipping.


i posted this on POA, and i'm posting it here again.
cause sometimes, everyone just needs a hug.


LOVE YOU ALL! ♥


random event of the day:
there's this amazing anorexic/bulimic girl in my art class. today i finally had a chance to talk to her. we still don't know each other, it was just a short exchange. but she was so very distinctly different from what i thought/imagined/expected her to be. anyone had any similar encounters?

oh and we have our End-Of-Years in 50 DAYS!

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It’s not that hard.
I know.
It’s my own fault.
I want to change for the better.
I wish I could more
I just want to fix up this mess.
Thank you for times we’ve shared.
And for still believing.

life's just a blur of colours.

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i want to spew my guts out right now.
catch me.
catch me
before
i fall to the ground
again.
rock bottom.
i've been there.
further down.
never ending.
we're just testing the limits.
we can push.
further.

downwards spiral
pick me up
will you?

don't let me sink
any further.

fucking weakling.
quit giving excuses.
just pick your damned self up.
get on with life.
there's so much you have to get done.
just go and do it.
finish your fucking work.
Liar! Bum!
you lazy pig.
you're not sleeping tonight
until you get your damned stuff done.

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Civics Mini-Essay Qn: Why should people get married?

i don't know. seriously. why should we? why do we?
because we f****ing insecure creatures living on some warped fairy tale they've planted in our minds. cause at the end of the day there's got to be some prince in shinning armour waiting just round the corner to whisk us away into the sunset.
and we'll all live happily ever after. even if that prince is complete bastard.

we're just living on false illusions of love.
marriage is just our sophisticated and civilised way of stamping our names on another person, trying to mark them as our sole property.

call me a cynic. i still believe that there is such a thing as true love out there, but that's just about as rare as finding an actual chunk of chicken in a McNugget.  snorts. how unromantic is that. and seriously think about it what ARE the chances of true love knocking on your door.  even if cupid worked overtime, he can't possibly attend to every single couple.

now i'm just spewing crap. the only 2 couples i've ever met that are actually happy is 1) MT and 2) my cousin. i don't even think my parents are really in love anymore. they're just two individuals living together just because they are...

what if i end up like them one day?

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snorts.
silly me.
there was an ant crawling over my laptop screen, i thought it was one of those "crawly bug" screensavers so i promptly told myself i wasn't going to fall for that again. and then i realised it was too realistic to be fake. pfft.

and yes i know, my posts are much more mellow now...
i'm sorry if i bore you, but heck. this is my life.
there's been so much ups and downs and emotional roller coasters in school i just want some peace alright? to get away from all the drama. no more judgmental looks. the condescending looks you give me.
like i'm already a failure. the snide remarks, with their hidden meanings.
you're not good enough. the whispers echo in the empty corridors. i'm always on the run. hiding.

but they always catch up don't they?

incoherent posts.
going back to restricting tomorrow.
today i;m going to finish all my overdue work.
at least the ones that i know i'm going to get chased for on wednesday :O


Stuff i NEED to get done:
3 Math Essays (yes, essays)
1 Literature Essay
Chemistry WS


Stuff i want to get done:
1 Civics and Morals assignment
1 Environmental pollution presentation

Stuff i need to get done by the end of the week:
Art
Envt. Pollution Essay

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today was a bad slip.  bad but deal-with-able
and tomorrow i'm heading to the gym at last! i CANNOT wait.
i already have it planned.  head down early, so there won't be anyone there.


1) Arms: 27reps * 3
2) Modified Situps: 27*3
3) Run/Cycle: HIIT+ 3km Or 1 cycle session

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i'm scared that when we go out, you'll get bored.
i feel like i'm supposed to be fun
i'm supposed to make it fun.

but thank you for brushing some of that fear aside.


and thank you, for talking with me.
and bearing with my rants and my depressing thoughts.

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my head hurts
my eyes hurt
at least i ain't feeling anything inside.

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