Tuesday, June 19, 2012
breathe
persevere
tomorrow we'll be dancing
till the sun comes up
summer's come
just need to hang in there
fight hard
we can.
invincible.
we can do whatever we set out to achieve.
focus.
master your mind.
don't let yourself succumb to weakness
reading the wrong books, with the wrong songs.
makes you want to cry.
the subtle, innocuous doubt.
second guessing yourself
there's something missing,
something empty in your soul.
something that cried out
in the hidden depths of our being
something inherently tribal, primal almost.
can't place your finger on it
elusive, allusions.
we've forgotten, how to feel.
what it is.
hollow, nagging.
heart, screeching,
nails brandishing, grasping like a aged vulture
clinging on to the last shreds of decaying flesh
can't you see the reflections of our past,
shining in that pool of blood
a noble sacrifice, for our peace of mind
we're alright,
fine and dandy, pocket full of posies.
dandelion, poppies
laced in our pores.
can't remember anymore,
the time when i held my own senses,
and stood in my own independent thought.
the glimpses of noble solidarity
on the road of the steady rhythm of pounding feet on the asphalt
found a temporary sanctuary in our midnight runs
only when our physical bodies have been removed from this bubble of self content
we're alright.
i'm fine.
i'm okay. really.
paired with a steady smile.
never to waver.
my mind a woozy mess, of cotton wool
drenched in anaesthetics, analgesics
tried not to think about it.
push, push. dig deeper.
bury them, bury them thoughts
try to forget. forgive and forget.
and then we'll be alright.
avoid, run escape.
bury, shove,
and block them out by the sheer will of your mind.
cant you feel it the glass panel
trace it with your fingertips,
every time you pass.
wondering,
what if one day it cracked, and fell
tumbled down and everything
came crashing down
the waves of a tsunami
the horrors of time, hidden,
stashed in a corner for so long
that even i have forgotten what they are
present, past perfect tense.
future continuous tense.
future perfect tense.
never changing. they're here to haunt us
forever and a day
liar liar!
thief!
rotten. dishonest.
repulsive. scheming.
failure. pathetic.
spineless. lost in the materialism of soceity.
hypocrite.
counter-cultural bullshit.
did you even think for once you would ever be worth it.
hiding under that cover of confusion.
retreat.
retreated back to the shield of immaturity, and childhood.
to relinquish and shirk your responsibilities.
grow up. wake up.
this is the real world here.
you can't hide forever.
your legs will break, before you flee.
i have laid down my own prophecies.
dare i still believe?
in a future? or is this all a sham
tell me. hug me close.
i just want to forget.
security.
make me forget.
relieve us of our destinies.
perhaps, it's true.
wouldn't it be better, to surrender ourselves to the inane pursuit of soma.
a gramme, just a gramme.
half a ration of chocolate, smuggled on our train rides to the wilderness.
and coffee. i surrender to the the rats, O'brien.
perhaps truly we need to submit. now who holds the shell, shall be Caesar.
maybe not. rescue us, captain, back to the order of society.
social order. after all we're all still equal. just some more so than others.
perhaps. remove us from the demands of thought.
freedom comes at too great a price.
requiem, we'll sell our chocolate bars, and cocaine,
adderall and soap.
abject lomans, maybe when we age our eyes will belie our fears and trepidations
for now, speak, the trees will give.
and if a body may catch another, we'll catch 21 more.
more maybe even 451 more. if we don't yet burn.
Learn/Do: ice skating (spins, stops, hockey stops) roller blading (tricks) skate boarding roller derby dance street jazz, tap dancing the hand wave/popping thing, Algorithm March, voguing, indian dance hip hop hand clapping/tapping ballroom learn a musical instrument guitar ukulele saxophone? drums pole dancing hooping harp? mandolin? banjo? yoga light show thingo with the spinning light sticks making dreadlocks getting rainbow colored hair doing a handstand doing a summersault sky diving bungee jumping cliff diving travelling across a dessert doing a marathon (standard chartered) sundown ironman learn spanish, french,german, dutch learn the finnish language ? learn korean, japanese, arabic go to an indie concert! party all night! rave! dance! whatever! start a social movement give a motivational speech? work at a bar do something spontaneous have a date at a carnival work at a carnival hot air balloon layout (ultimate) around the world trip play the coordinates game( the phone check-in, geotagging one) the 100 jars thing proper food fight! water fight! paint ball fight! learn surfing sign language white water rafting night safari africa mongolia,bhutan night under the stars sit in a field and have the wind blow through our hair dance/sing/live in the rain! cross country road trip with my friends! be an air stewardess learn first aid stonehenge northern lights (the pretty ones) build a gigantic sand castle! go on a blind date kiss a total stranger talk to a stranger every day go skinny dipping (midnight) watch a sun rise/ sun set plant a tree build/ live in a tree house live in a caravan fast for 30 days for a reason climb a mountain experience weightlessness without fear take a vow of silence for a day forgive someone carnival parade brazil Cross a country using only public transportation (See a country the way most of its people do: from the window of a bus, train, or ferry.) join burning man join a gay parade/Love Parade any huge/large fun parades cosplay (emilie autumn or smth) wakeboarding Connect with the teachers from your past Write a letter to at least 3 of your closest friends to let them know how much they mean to you learn martial arts (judo, taekwando) be vegan for 30 days be vegetarian for 30 days Fold/ make 1,000 origami cranes or something and give them to someone special Start a social movement on a cause you believe in work/learn gastronomy be a waitress/saleperson just for fun indie film marathon fancy dress party/ mask/pirate themed thing! plan an event ^ work at a soup kitchen play at ikea run in facny dress for charity hair for hope not buy anything for 1 month blow 1 months of wages on something build a huge library read all the books off a list! get remarried in vegas spend a major holiday( christmas, valentines, etc doing charity work) give a homeless person my lunch be homeless for a week/month never eat macs or fast food for a year not eat fried food for a year?month?half a year? wear fancy dress for 1 whole day flirt with someone on the road :P help out at a soup kitchen bake a cake for all my inspirational teachers fundraise on my birthday mud fight! attempt to hit 95? 90?lbs? 35kg? join the army? flash mob!