is it odd that for someone who is always lost in and about life,
that i'm so indefinitely sure that my first pay check will be going into starting up a plastic surgery fund?

and especially so for since i'm constantly telling others to love themselves.
and to embrace themselves for who they are?

in a generation that outwardly shuns falsities and comestic surgeries,
but are constantly chasing the new perfection
buying into the impossible standards of fashion and beauty
that the media is selling us

and then whenever we have these in class discussions about plastic surgery and the perception of beauty
i'll just try and regurgitate some sort of a politically correct answer, and then smile and sit back passively feeling absolutely out of place with all these people around me who seem so contented and happy with their appearances.

disturbingly, i don't actually want to see life the way they do, i don't actually want to gain their sense of self love and self acceptance. i still want to continue hating the way i look, until i achieve perfection.
 and sometimes i feel kind of ashamed of the fact that i feel this way :/

*sorry i don't know why today's post turned out to be so tacky and awfully self indulgent*

comments