i'm moving towards a calmer state of mind.
a little less craziness.
a slightly meeker urges.
easier reigned.

i think just looking at food calm me down
there's a certain tranquilising effect you get
sieving and going through every single food item you crave.
squinting your eyes
a quick run through the calories and the price tags.
skimming past. the settled reassurance.
silence. tap. tap. tap.
etched. keyed in,sorted, alphabetically, and stored.
into yet another one of our meticulously organised folder
stashed in the subconsciousness of our minds.
to be drawn later, at will, with ease,

out.

minds whirring. frantically.
exhausted. trudging on.
numbers. floating, going around in circles.
$2.20 divided by 15.
1275 divided by 4.184
2. .. 20.. minus 15.
divided. divided. 2.20.


tired. senses dulled.
but we're still screaming inside.

confusion. still going round in circles.
getting nowhere, but a little bit skinnier.


But today i'm just glad cause i beat the binges. nasty little things.
i guess i just needed someone to talk to.
someone who didnt judge, and needed to talk as much as i did.

thank you Y.

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