starting over. today.

a little confused and lost. i'm nearly there. not quite.
attainable. but if i don't watch it, it might just slip out of my hands again.
sanity. i'm so tired i just want to fall into a deep sleep.
and slumber off to neverland. now is not the time she whispers, and tries to make herself heard amongst the demons that live in my head.
it;s a losing battle she's fighting. she's already lost half the weekend. who's to say she won't lose the other half? where have all her dreams gone? her ambitions. the vindictive voice that cried out for change.  to fight back and take her life back?
the determined spirit that fought tooth and nail for a second chance?

make your last stand. dear.
i'm not going to lie to you and tell you that it will all be over soon.
for it's just begun. and there's still a long road ahead, filled with brambles and twines, hoping to drag us down. it's not going to be easy. you know it.
but fight. fight back. with the last bit of strength you have. don't let the hatred build up to destroy you. control;. control your damned emotions.
fuck. fuck. i don't want to. go away.
i just want to dig a hole in the ground and curl up and sleep for a thousand years. i'm sick of trying. i don't want to.
remember how after you got started, everything turned out for the better.
so plough on. don't quit.





the song speaks for itself. i have no clue what the lyrics or the video is about,and i don't want to know. but it's soothing, and that's all that matters. let the music speak for itself.

*this post is kind of personal and might not make sense D: *

comments