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Welcome♥

i hope you like oranges. and kiwis.
and lemons.and oranges.
i like oranges. they're really pretty. and nice.like goldfishes. and the sun.


Location

Floating in dreamland. where all the foods are imaginary.
and all the people are nice.
And even if they weren't we could always wake up.

Oneday.

tomorrow. (maybe)

The Girl



>>is way too fat.


Height: 5'7"
CW: 106 (47.7kg) D:
HW: 119


Old Goals: 112!

GW1: 110! (50)
by 23 mar


GW2: 107 (48.5)
by 31 mar

REACHED!
(11 Nov)

GW3: 105 (47.5)
by 20 Nov


GW4: 103 (46.5/47)
by 31 Nov


GW5: 100 (45.5)
by 31 Dec



UGW: 99 (45)


UUGW: 97

UUGW: to be ethereal. weightless. like those beautifully crafted paper dolls and the air.


Other Goals:

10K REACHED!
21K REACHED!
42K
RSS


Lost Souls

Locations of visitors to this page


site analysis

Layout ©

Courtesy of:
Designer: manikka
Resources: 1 2 3 4 5 6


Saturday, July 23, 2011

I’m just really tired.

I just want a break. I just want to sleep for a bit.
Or maybe for a while.

I just want to stop fighting for a while.

I just want to not have to fight ever minute every time, every day, every minute to survive.
I just want to stop having to gasp at every single breath just to hang on. Forever teetering on the edge.
Trying not to fall.

Maybe we should just let.
If only we could just let go.

Except this time it would be a legit reason, (perhaps)

Just a deep sleep till neverland, till the edge of the world.
Drifting on soft clouds of tranquility.


Won’t you just let me alone.

There’s no rest for the wicked. We’re all rotten beings at heart.
Save by the small random acts of kindness,
Tiny bursts of goodness that managed to slip through the hollows of our black tar hearts.

I really don’t know. I just feel sick and tired. And all I want is a break. But everything just keeps piling up, one after the other. And it just tires me. i slept only for a single afternoon and by the time I wake up there’s a whole new stash of stuff that I now need to finish, not to mention the long laundry list of stuff that I already owe.

My head hurts. My eyes can’t even see straight without me squinting hard, my brain feels woosy. And I can’t swallow shit with all my ulcers.

And the worse thing is I’ve already been giving damned near my all. I HAVE been on the balls of my feet, I’ve been trying. I’ve been doing things, I’ve tried to keep up, to read up ahead of lectures and class. To finish my due work before the deadline, but somehow everything manages to come crashing down.

I can’t afford to fall sick. But I am.
And for a minute I was almost glad. For a plausible reason to finally take a break. Boy! was I wrong. I wasn’t fast enough, even when I was running, chasing after everyone else’s pace of life.

stopping now.

It's just scary, watching everything accelerate by at such great speed. I’m lagging behind (again) and my past efforts have been given up in vain. For the past weeks, I’ve been giving my all, sprinting my heart out. But now it's failing me, and the gap is still widening.

And now that I’m sick I can’t just take a break, cause there’s so much to catch up upon.When will enough ever be enough?

Or maybe it’s just me. There’s no rest for the wicked, and wicked we are at heart. It’s not their fault it’s yours. It’s mine. It’s no one else’s but my own. Work harder you lazy pig. Push, and push through. Everything is passing me by so fast. I’m kind of scared.

Us and our cowardly (lies)
Petty misers, grasping on to life.
Hiding behind a higher calling of morality.
Truth be told we can’t do the deed.
Maybe it’s better if we all just got some sleep…
Like dolphins, and forget the conscious effort to keep gasping, to breathe.

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