there's always something about separations that exudes into the air
and seeps, straight into your pores.
it just hangs, in the air. the gentle reek of melancholy
that you can never really get rid of
the absolute powerlessness we have
in the face of goodbyes

i don't ever want to leave
and i don't ever want you to either.
the friendships we've made
that unspoken connection, unbreakable
as we smiled, and forced our way through language barriers
and the gaping berth of time and age.
through the half understood words of conversation
we didn't need to understand
for our talk was not in the words of our speech

it was the genuineness, and trust
when you poured out your life stories,
the ones that the pains of reality would never have allowed you to voice
the little defining titbits of triviality that define us
the silent secrets that we keep, to ourselves
the things that we cannot tell, not even to the ones closest to us,
because if we did, if we did tell, it would hurt them
and so we keep our burdens, buried deep in our heart.

there comes a time,perhaps, when we grow old
when we finally experience true wisdom,
when we want someone there to listen
to hear our life stories
to hear our secrets so that we don't have to take them to our graves
there comes a time when loneliness creeps up upon us,
and the inevitability of _______ looms
and we just want to know that there's at least someone else who knows, and cares
and that when we leave, we are not wiped from existence.


when you learn to see the insecurities and the pains of others
their unspoken pain, their hidden woes, and everything they've gone through
the suffering that they keep from everyone else.
the burdens that they carry alone.

they become all the more ______________. i dont have the words to capture this feeling.

but what defines someone, is not what they show.
it's not what they say. it's what they keep in their silence.

and you can never truly understand someone until you are able to listen to the story of their silence. it's there, sitting quietly in between the lines, in the conversations we have, the everyday conversations of our life. it's in the vague answers that we dismiss without a second thought. it's behind the quirks, and the smiles.

i dont know what this post is for. just needed to get the feeling out.

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