if you're not planning to celebrate it then don't get me all worked up about it.
Kay. thanks.
i was fine actually, I get that sometimes valentines can grow commercial and insipid.
I never asked for anything much, didnt even think much about it. until you started exclaiming how lucky we were to be able to spend valentines day together.
and with each proclamation of satisfaction, at our great fortune for being able to spend the morning of valentines together when all the couples around us wouldn't be. (army stuff)
I grew to look forward to 14feb too.
and now, with one sentence,
it's just all reduced to I'm spending time with my family in the morning before I leave. I understand, no really I do. you've always been close to your family.
I'm not waiting this in resentment, and I'm not asking you to choose or to make a decision between family time an spending time with me.
but please, just don't get my hopes up at something, with promises of something in the future that's never even going to happen at all.
don't make me look forward to something that's not even going to be there. and don't make empty proclamations.
they hurt even more than you not saying anything at all in the first place.


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I've tried to weave in so many compliments, be they in our random banters and jokes, or in those letters that I've penned or in the msgs that I've sent.
I wrote about each of your own individual, unique characteristics. and how endearing and precious they are to me. backed by specific incidents, that I've bothered to at least remember.


all you've ever told me was that I have long legs. thanks. I really appreciate that.
so if one day I didn't have long legs, you'd dump me in a blink of the eye? that's really comforting to know.

did you know when I was born, I was born half crippled? my ankle got stuck in an odd position. so when I came out, my legs were out turned. the doctors said that there's nothing much that could be done. I'd probably stay in this deformed way for the rest of my life. well you know what, love, and determination shaped me into something else. everyday my grandmother would spend hours just massaging and trying to twist that ankle back into shape.

what you're seeing is the work of love.

but what if, what if I had ugly legs, fat thighs and stubby shins? I wouldn't mean anything more right?

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and I wish you'd ask formally, not over a simple text. I loved it, I really appreciate it. that you took the time to write all those heartfelt words, but it wouldn't hurt your ego to say those 5 words out lout in person right?

all around me i hear all these amazing stories of how others get asked out. I'm not comparing. I don't want to compare, cause everyone, and every couple is unique. but all I'm asking is that you say it in person? a text over the phone just feels so informal, like is it really true? the start of us is just going to be summarised in a few pixels? how we even met never had a solid start to begin with, it would be nice, you know to know that us being official begins on solid ground?

I'm sorry. maybe I'm being unnecessarily needy, but it wouldn't hurt for you to ask agin in person right?

and why can't you ask it in full? what does it mean to confirm? what are we even confirming?

yeah, sure we can confirm.
I can confirm that now, I'm not so sure of myself anymore. ):

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